February 2012
1 post
5 tags
January 2012
5 posts
6 tags
slightlyshy:
Roadkill possums look like dead clowns.
I always thought that they looked like sleeping alcoholics.
5 tags
donnerpartyofone:
SOMEBODY JUST SAID “BATHROOM EYES”
IT’S 2012
December 2011
3 posts
Fun is for assholes
November 2011
5 posts
On my drive to work this morning I got stuck behind a 18 wheeler, as usual. I got kind of upset when I noticed that the things that were raining onto my window weren’t leaves but little pieces of garbage. A paper cup here, a little chunk of wet newspaper, a soda can bounce off the shoulder of the road. After getting pretty fed up with it and more or less feeling pangs of remorse watching the...
I’ have been getting up earlier recently. By early I mean like 6am. Not because my schedule demands it or I was reprimanded for being late too often. Nobody seems to care about what time I get to work anyway.
Now I just try to get up before the sun rises.
The coldness surrounding the morning makes sense now. It used to be disconcerting when the bright sun accompanied the frosted ground upon...
October 2011
16 posts
slightlyshy asked: how did you get to be so cute and can i nip your ears.
good morning
OW SHIT. Why does my back hurt so bad? How long did I sleep? What am I even doing with my life right now? Why are all the posted jobs in the writer section of Craigslist for “Sports Blogger?”
3 tags
slightlyshy asked: OH YEAH I'M TOTALLY IN A BAND YEAH NO BIG DEAL YEAH WE'RE LOCAL YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME SEE US THIS SATURDAY I'LL GET YOU IN FOR FREE. LOCAL LOCAL LOCAL LOCAL LOCAL BAND BAND BAND BAND BAND.
Just a note to the world:
Sleeping with a cat will increase your alarm clock’s effectiveness by at least 80%. Double that figure if said cat is hungry.
(Note to self: consider making a list of reasons why everybody should have cat buddy. Then consider making that list into a book. Then consider selling that book at Dollar Trees nationwide. Sit back and rake it in.)
I'm going to go through with it
I swear it. I will.
My glasses are so fucked beyond recognition that I’ll be doing them a service when I jump up in the air and stomp on them with combat boots. And then when I take them to Walmart to get them replaced free of charge per the warranty I bought I’ll smile and tell them that my big roommate accidentally stepped on them when I zonked out on the couch.
I think I’ve...
September 2011
5 posts
I hate to think of a
world were it is absolutely necessary to text while you urinate. Today I saw this guy in the public bathroom of the building I work at messing with his iPhone while he peed. He even stood around extra long with his ugly bits out to finish his text. And he had the hood of his sweatshirt up.
I just don’t know about smartphones taking precedence over the basic function of urination. Maybe I am...
1 tag
August 2011
5 posts
2 tags
July 2011
14 posts
From where I sit
at my job I can clearly monitor the amount of internet fuckoffery my coworkers engage in. My boss for example, is playing a digital version of a trading card game (think Magic the Gathering) right now. So it is totally fine for me to research bookmaking at work.
Totally fine.
I wish
that I could go back in time and warn myself that Summer Classes are a HORRIBLE idea unless you hate fun.
